July Advice Column: Burnout

Written by Shraddha, one of our advice columnists, and edited by Stephanie, our editor-in-chief!

“Dear Advice Columnist,

This is random, but what’s your advice for burnout?”

Hi Random,

When I searched the Internet about what a “burnout” is, it told me different things, but most essentially, it reiterated the same feeling I’ve had myself for a very long time, in some less fancy words. The Internet defines burnout as ‘a state of physical, mental and emotional exhaustion, which could be caused by a prolonged period of stress.’

The poet in me would tell you this: A burnout is when every cell, every atom and every particle in your body is tired of existing. It is a state when your body, your mind and your heart have probably just had enough, enough of this wretched life that seldom makes sense, and enough of this world that hardly ever cooperates. It is a state when even breathing, or simply being here and existing every single day feels like work, and that’s when you hear that soft voice in your head, which sometimes turns into a scream, I need a break…

I’ve had the feeling for years, and I still go back to feeling that way at times. But over time, I’ve accumulated some tricks to help me heal faster, and I hope these tips help you too.

1. Just Stop!

Whatever you are doing, wherever you are, whenever you are reading this, I urge you to do a simple exercise, just stay still for a while. Doesn’t matter if you are sitting, lying in bed, or riding a subway, take a moment, and come back to the present. Request your thoughts to stand aside for a while, as you take some much needed time to navigate through your distress.

Try to be aware of your surroundings, the people around you, the ground beneath you, the surface on which you’re resting yourself, the colour of the walls, what you’re wearing, how does it feel against your skin?

I can’t stress the importance of this step enough, and how important it is for beings like us, to come back to the present moment. We are forgetful beings, we forget that we are alive, we forget that we are here, right now, and nowhere else, and that we don’t need to be elsewhere, that this is enough, existing is enough.

2. Listen to the silence

Yes, it sounds bizarre to the rational mind, but silence speaks when we are truly listening. If you are going through a burnout phase in your life, this step will help you find out why, and help you get to the root of it, and hopefully, then you can try to fix whatever it is that has been accumulating over time, that has kept rotting inside, causing you to feel burned out.

A burnout is not something that happens once in a while, or begins and ends within a few hours, or even days. Chances are, whatever it is that has caused you to feel this way has been piling up for years, and chances are that you probably know what it is. Your heart might have been giving you signals, your body may have been telling you things that were too subtle to notice.

So here’s what you need to do: Listen to that voice, that voice will sound familiar because it’s you, telling you to stop doing whatever it is that is not right for you, or start doing whatever it is that you need to.

Give yourself the space, let it come to you, I can assure you it will, maybe not immediately, but surely in time.

3. Please, take it easy…

Now that you know what’s causing you to be burned out, or are on your way to find out, or even if there is no real reason behind it, this step is probably the most healing, and the most difficult one to follow.

I’ll say to you one simple thing, because there is no fancy way of putting it, and no easy way to accept it, but trust me as someone who struggles with this feeling often, that when you are feeling burned out, you are in desperate need of some self love, because maybe you’ve gone way too long without acknowledging yourself, your desires, your heart’s calling. Maybe it’s been long since you took a long walk in the rain by yourself, or ate a bowl of ice-cream for lunch because why not!

It may have been months, since you felt you were in the right place, or since you felt you were home. Maybe you’ve not had a moment to yourself to admire a bird, or a squirrel eating nuts, or had the time to pet a dog. I want to tell you that it’s okay.

Use this feeling to halt, take a break, go out on a vacation, get a new plant to care for, sip some good coffee, catch up with your friends. Do something bizarre, something spontaneous, find a new hobby or reconnect with an old one, do whatever you feel like in the moment, and allow yourself to exist comfortably, to take up space, and be yourself, because you deserve to, not because you, or me, or a few of us are special, or worthy of this realisation, but simply because we all exist. We’re all here, trying our best, trying to reach home.

So random, I hope this helped. I hope you get to come back to yourself, gently, and I hope you get to enjoy the soft mornings and bitter chocolates filled with nice coffees and cute animals. I hope you get to enjoy the lighter days that await you.

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This piece was edited by one of our writers, Shraddha. Reach 'em at @shraddhagulati_ on Instagram!

This piece was edited by our editor-in-chief, Stephanie O.

Defintion of a burnout from https://www.helpguide.org/articles/stress/burnout-prevention-and-recovery.htm. ‘A state of physical, mental and emotional exhaustion, which could be caused by a prolonged period of stress.'

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