October Advice Column: College
Written by Shraddha, one of our advice columnists, and edited by Harley, one of our editors!
“Dear Advice Columnist,
How do I deal with leaving for college?”
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Dear friend,
Firstly, Congratulations on starting college!
I can assure you, and I speak on behalf of everyone who has been through college, that this is a special time, memories of which you’ll carry for the rest of your life, so I hope you are looking forward to this experience.
I’m sure you must be eager to move on to your next phase of life. You must be prepared to pick a specialisation (or major, depending on where you’re from) and prepare yourself with the knowledge to build a career and future for yourself. I felt the same… But, amidst all the excitement that I felt when I was starting college, like every other person I’ve known, there was also a bit of fear. Just a feeling of being overwhelmed, moving out of my home, leaving my hometown, and trying to mold myself into an adult.
But often, when we’re moving out of a major phase of our life, and beginning a new chapter, fear is good, because it means we’re open to life and the endless possibilities that it brings. It means that we are growing up, evolving, shedding our old skin and becoming a newer version of ourselves, stepping out of the things that defined us in the past, and finding new variables that align with who we want to be in the future.
I won’t sit here and state the obvious to you, like to make new friends, enjoy your time, study diligently, and explore different aspects of college life, but I will in fact, share some less-told, subtle secrets with you.
In my experience, college is a way of finding a new home. I know you’re thinking “but I’m leaving my home?”, but I mean home in a metaphorical sense. Your home is more than where you live. It is about finding people who become more than friends, who become your tribe, understanding yourself and the kind of person you want to be, knowing how you’d want to leave your mark on the world, having a good time of course, but also make memories and enjoy the calmer moments.
College is much more than an important phase in your career, it is also a precious time in one’s life, accompanied by friends, laughter, food, music, adventures and love. This is why, for almost everyone, including me and you, college has been and will be an important phase of our lives.
I know that leaving can be hard, especially for a young adult (like myself) who had always stayed with their family at home, always had help, and always had people to depend upon, but college is the one place that teaches us to depend on ourselves, and be resilient, and develop the strength you will eventually need in this world. College is the kindergarten of the real world, where you’ll find another home, people who feel like home, where there’ll be heartbreak, and where there’ll be new memories to make...
Remember, that home is not always a place, and it is not always where we come from… Sometimes home can be, for a short while, in a little garden with big rocks behind your college building where you sit and talk about the Universe with your new friends, people just like you, people who’ve come to a new place, to grow, to learn, and to evolve. Isn’t it miraculous that in the world of billions, you found them?
That being said, I wouldn’t want to encourage you to cut your ties with your hometown, or your school friends, or your neighbours who’ve seen you cry naked in a pool when you were a child. These people are special and that house you grew up in is special, and will always be, and they will always be a part of your memories.
I would encourage you to maybe carry a small box of memories with you when you move out, collect random things to remind you of your friends, your family and your hometown. Maybe put some old pictures in it, maybe some leaves of plants from your mom’s garden, some tools from your neighbours backyard, maybe a paper napkin from your favourite restaurant and a ticket from your local bus… Collect them, and put them in a box, and take it with you, to remember where you come from.
But remember, they are memories, fond loving memories of a time in the past. And the best thing we can do with these memories is to keep them safely tucked in our minds and our hearts, carry pieces of it with ourselves, maybe smile some day while remembering when you had your first sleepover with school friends, smile and cherish the moments that made us who we are in the first place. Carry them with fondness in our hearts, to replenish our soul when you’re tired. Carry them in the way you are and the way you talk, the way you admire a burger in a new fast-food junction because it reminds you of your favourite burger from your hometown!
So friend, I hope you can find a way to remember everything that makes you you, carry it with you to your next phase of life, without being held down or attached to them, and continue to collect more such moments and memories in the next phase of your life. I hope you get to have the time of your life, and make memories to carry to the next phase after college… And I hope you remember that there is nowhere else you need to be. You’ll always be home, because home is everywhere, and nowhere at the same time :)
Sincerely,
A college pass-out
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This piece was written by one of our writers, Shraddha. Reach 'em at @shraddhagulati_ on Instagram!
This piece was edited by one of our editors, Harley. Reach him at @ha.rleyn, on Instagram!
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